Let's be honest, this sucks.

We like to talk like we are strong and going to make this deployment our bitch, but some days I'm totally owned. 

Some days I don't want to get out of bed, or talk to anyone. It's usually short lived, sometimes not even the whole day, but I hate feeling like it makes me weak.

Loving my husband, missing him, losing it for a bit because I can't open a jar or remember where he put something makes me HUMAN. Today is one of those shitty screw everyone and everything don't text me and tell me I'm strong kinda days. I want to stay in bed, not shower or eat, but I have kids so up I go off to feed and clothe them, maybe feed the animals too, they like that. Inside though I'm counting down the minutes to bedtime when I can go cry in the shower and just let go for a few. 

Originally I wanted this blog to be all positive and upbeat, a source of motivation and strength but then I thought I should be real and honest because deployments suck and sometimes it will kick your ass and that's totally okay you can get it tomorrow.