Ah to be me, the charmed life... Right?

So once upon a time this woman decided she hated me because I live a charmed life. Don't get me wrong I'm not always loveable, but charmed, Me? Seriously? 

My charmed life this past week consisted of me waking up thinking I was dying. Spending the next two days ridiculously sick, my youngest breaking her light switch so her light wouldn't turn on. Having to replace it while trying not to throw up having never replaced a light switch before. Oh and my daughters birthday is this weekend when family from all over will be in my house. 

Not sure I was charmed this past week but I learned what screening for west Nile is like, that I can change out a light switch, and that I can take care of two toddlers while crawling through my house. So go me right?! 

Better to be lucky than good as they say I suppose. Really I guess my point is I am still learning how capable I am do it it on my own. When you have no choice but to I don't think you look at it as being strong it's just what you have to do. No one is gonna do it for you, right? Exactly, but I think we all need to take a moment and pat ourselves on the back because the fact that no one else is going to do it doesn't make us less strong for doing it. Just don't spend to much time patting your self on the back and become that wife ;) 

Millstones, the key to survive deployments.

On the long drive back home (10 hours) I find it easier when I break it down with little things like at about 3 hours is s great rest stop with a huge area the kids can run around for a few, the giant Jesus come up out of the lake holding a cross in front of a church. (Not poking fun it really was huge!) It breaks the drive up and makes it more manageable. Same applies to deployments. 

I never count down to home coming because sometimes that changes and can be heart breaking when you've had your eye on a certain date. So I count things that have already passed like first month, 100 days down, we write something that happens each week that we want to share with daddy and put it in a jar so we do weeks down too. Or small easy to mark points ahead, like certain care packages for holidays or special moments for us. Small things that are happy and for the most part the dates shouldn't change. It helps to have a goal in mind to break up the large time frame with small things, trips, weekends, girls night, whatever helps ya. I like to have personal ones, family ones, and ones for us as a couple. 

Do you have any millstones you use to mark the time? Or suggestions feel free to leave a comment or message me if you rather. 

Please I beg you stop posting no one cares!

Stop sharing things like this.

Stop saying and perpetrating the idea that no one cares. Clearly you care you are sharing it right? Whoever you saw that posted it cared. Their families, brothers and sisters in arms care. Please do not cheapen their sacrifice by saying no one cares. The people that really matter care. No some of the higher ups did not act the way we would have all liked that is something they have to live with, but you do not need to add to it. 

I do not want to see a town burned, business destroyed adding to this already tragic situation, no one should want to see people act like that for any reason. It doesn't further any cause. Most of those people rioting didn't care about the person who had died they wanted to loot and destroy. 

These 5 men who died in Chattanooga last week will not be forgotten, they will be honored, missed and loved forever by the people that really matter the people they were willing to die to protect. The saying 'he fights not because he hates what's in front of him but because he loves what's behind him' means something, take it to heart they do. 

How cute are these sticky notes? Even have the international mail look. Picked up a package of 50 at Walmart.

I always send my husband a few sticky notes in care packages hidden away. These I packed in his gear going with him, uniform pockets, socks, normal clothes, where ever he will find them but not all at once. I like to have him find them over time. 

Mourning

Yesterday there was a shooting not to far from me, 4 Marines were lost and an officer injured. As a military family it's always hard to send your loved one anywhere over seas, but it's so scary to send them anywhere stateside in uniform too now. My thoughts are with all those families touched by this tragedy. The military community mourns your loss with you. 

We live in scary times. Heads on a swivel my friends. 

A thousand horses broke me...

So the other day I mentioned those days that you will lose the fight, sometimes it's just a battle.

I listen to iTunes Radio while I run, today a song came on and broke me. I hit the ground and lost it. Big ole ugly ass cry. Last year my husband was away but stateside so everyday he would sing me a song and send me the video. I had my favorites, he did too. The song he did for my birthday came on and that was it. Down for the count. In fact I'm sitting here typing this post while still crying because damn it this is my therapy! 

You know what I mean right? That song that's special to you comes on or one of those heart wrenching I lost someone songs and you just crumble. I love music it's great to change your mood and sometimes totally jack up a good run. 

Let's be honest, this sucks.

We like to talk like we are strong and going to make this deployment our bitch, but some days I'm totally owned. 

Some days I don't want to get out of bed, or talk to anyone. It's usually short lived, sometimes not even the whole day, but I hate feeling like it makes me weak.

Loving my husband, missing him, losing it for a bit because I can't open a jar or remember where he put something makes me HUMAN. Today is one of those shitty screw everyone and everything don't text me and tell me I'm strong kinda days. I want to stay in bed, not shower or eat, but I have kids so up I go off to feed and clothe them, maybe feed the animals too, they like that. Inside though I'm counting down the minutes to bedtime when I can go cry in the shower and just let go for a few. 

Originally I wanted this blog to be all positive and upbeat, a source of motivation and strength but then I thought I should be real and honest because deployments suck and sometimes it will kick your ass and that's totally okay you can get it tomorrow. 

Daddy dolls!

I have seen lots of variations on this concept. This is by far my favorite though. You send them a picture they remove the background, you choose the backing for your doll, they even have a pocket for a note or voice box. Brilliant!

My kids love these so much. They cuddle them, read them stories and have them come to events daddy can't be at, for them it's like a part of him is there then.