September 11, 2001 the day my world changed

I was no where near New York. I was in Michigan, I was broke and didn't have cable TV, or a car. I walked to work about a 15 minute walk, I thought it was strange on my way that town seemed kind of empty, but it made my walk faster and I was running late so I didn't give it a lot of thought. I owned a clothing store, it was a specialty store and across a foyer area from my brothers business that my dad was running for him while he was in Chicago.
When I walked down the stairs I noticed it was really quiet, normally music and videos and noise was what greeted me. I went in to let me dad know I had made it. I found him sitting on the couch watching TV. He had the strangest look on his face, he was kind of distant and pained. When I started to talk he held up his hand and pointed at the TV. I finally turned my full attention to it and watched in complete confusion as the world trade center was falling. I didn't fully understand even listening to it and reading the bottom scroll, I couldn't grasp what was happening. For hours I sat there with him watching, he was worried and trying to hide it, worried about what was happening, and worried about a plane they kept saying they thought was missing... they kept talking about where they thought it was heading and Chicago kept getting thrown out there. I watched as he tried to hide the fear from me and I wrestled with my own.
Even after all the planes were accounted for and I knew my family was safe, I wrestled with the guilt over feeling happy that my loved ones were okay as stories came out of people on one flight calling loved ones to say goodbye, while we watched the toll climb the fear wouldn't go away. Was more coming, was anyone really safe, who had done this, what was going to happen now? Hours, flew by but it felt as if time stood still. I watched the same thing over and over trying to understand it. My dad and I talked and tried to make sense of it, I got a new appreciation for my father, he put it into a perspective I would have never gotten on my own.
I have always been proud of who I am, where I come from, never more so than in the weeks following this attack. I watched as the country put differences aside and came together mostly. I watched people find their pride in our country again. 14 years later I am sitting here reflecting on it I can still feel the fear, the panic, the horror I felt that day. As a military family, both growing up and now I think I see it differently than some. Tomorrow I will turn off the TV, I will keep my laptop closed and and I will mourn and reflect in my way and in silence. I will never forget what happened that day, how I felt and how it changed my world.